Wow,
I swear I don't have any time to catch up on life! So since the last time I blogged a few weeks ago here's what happened:
Girlfriend came to visit as my birthday present from her parents. BEST birthday present ever. Seriously. I had an amazing time with her & we celebrated our 7 month by going on our very first date ever at Yummy wine bar. That experience was SPECTACULAR!
I also decided I wanted to get back to school. So i've been filling out taxes & fafsa & my first school application EVER! The app is not nearly as exciting as it sounds... I did go to college for 3 out of the past 4 years BUT I played the "I'm a Foster Kid" card on my first application & that's what got me in. This New York University application is kicking my ass big time. I've also done two complete drafts of the application and scrapped them. Third time is a charm though.... I hope.
I went on an amazing hike the other day in Astoria. That was pretty badass. Its nice to hike on a mountain range that is so close to the ocean/estuary. I have never done that before & the experience is great. My buddy & I found a downed power line & hiked up the steep trail for about 400 yards carrying two transformers on a piece of water logged wood. I have pics, but forgot my camera at home today... Sadface.
I'm broke as hell but enjoying life as it comes & as it goes. I really feel more free then I have in a long time & my desire to go back to school is going to help me get through the rest of these gray skies on the coast till summer arrives. Summers on the coast are great & its going to get me nice & charged for getting back to school.
Opportunities to look for on the near horizon:
I hear back about a traveling poetry scholarship by the end of the month
I have about 10 hard scholarship deadlines by the end of this month
Finish two books I am reading.
Invest in a video camera to start a youtube channel?
Any comments from the peanut gallery?
Monday, February 1, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Everything happenes as it should.
For the past half a dozen times or so, I have been fortunate enough not to take the bus.Today I met an old Hippie on the bus today, her name is "Claira." Claira informed me that she had been doing recovery longer than I had been alive.
Yes!!! this is what I was waiting for, this moment.
I knew when I was going to ride the bus today, I would meet someone special. I had known it for months, but this was that moment coming true. As she sat there in her light & dark gray hair she opened up to me. Probably a little too much but that is ok. She told me that for the last twenty years she had stopped watching TV, only listens to live music, and has a hard time working a computer. She lives in her own little world inside of her head. She is a little off because all the LSD made her mind a little too beautiful for her to handle, some time ago.
She began our conversation about writing, suggesting that I submit a piece of work for this annual magazine that the local Community College (which I am going to enter btw), she took me to her work, she took me to her favorite art gallery in town. Claira was a little bit crazy, & she told you up front it was because too many drugs when she was younger. I talked very little on the bus, perhaps because I was stoned, or perhaps because I just wanted to listen.
As we started walking up an obnoxious hill, to the 'old beach road' she had asked if I had ever been there. I said yes, & shared about the Sand Castle competition the previous years. I talked about being hired to work at FosterClub & how I had just moved to the Coast from Michigan. She talked about how in her 30's she had taken in a foster kid sibling group of three. Now they were all in their mid to late 20's & she still cared for them deeply.
When we finally made it up the hill to the beach road& I was wrong, I had never been here before. Claira response was ecstatic "I was hoping I could show you a place you've never seen before."
On this strange old road, she talked about her past & shared it with me. During the 60's she traveled up & down the West Coast because that was the thing to do. Seattle, to Astoria, Seaside, Cannon Beach, Northern Cali, SanFran, then all the way down to LA & back. She told me that she would bump into other hippies she would see in the other towns she had just come from. That must have been an amazing experiences, but then a grim look swept her face.
Claira said that "those were the days, but they got all screwed up because LSD was made illegal, and I was very reluctant to put a child up for adoption in 1968. He's forty one now, and I just hope he's doing alright."
That whole experience, that whole moment I had with Claira became surreal. As an advocate, hell as a foster kid, I experienced something that I like to call a 'full circle' experience. I sensed her pain in that statement. I saw the sorrow rest upon her face. I could see that she was hurt from her past always haunting her. In that moment, I felt compassion for her. She had pain from her past too- as a matter of fact just the opposite kind. Here we are, one generation apart and yet we are so close.
There was something Claira taught me today, she taught me how to forgive my bio parents, which is something I have been trying to do for years...
Everything happens as it should. I cannot really argue with that.
Oh by the way- I never really wanted a house with a white picket fence, its going to be more along the lines of this one...
Yes!!! this is what I was waiting for, this moment.
I knew when I was going to ride the bus today, I would meet someone special. I had known it for months, but this was that moment coming true. As she sat there in her light & dark gray hair she opened up to me. Probably a little too much but that is ok. She told me that for the last twenty years she had stopped watching TV, only listens to live music, and has a hard time working a computer. She lives in her own little world inside of her head. She is a little off because all the LSD made her mind a little too beautiful for her to handle, some time ago.
She began our conversation about writing, suggesting that I submit a piece of work for this annual magazine that the local Community College (which I am going to enter btw), she took me to her work, she took me to her favorite art gallery in town. Claira was a little bit crazy, & she told you up front it was because too many drugs when she was younger. I talked very little on the bus, perhaps because I was stoned, or perhaps because I just wanted to listen.
As we started walking up an obnoxious hill, to the 'old beach road' she had asked if I had ever been there. I said yes, & shared about the Sand Castle competition the previous years. I talked about being hired to work at FosterClub & how I had just moved to the Coast from Michigan. She talked about how in her 30's she had taken in a foster kid sibling group of three. Now they were all in their mid to late 20's & she still cared for them deeply.
When we finally made it up the hill to the beach road& I was wrong, I had never been here before. Claira response was ecstatic "I was hoping I could show you a place you've never seen before."
On this strange old road, she talked about her past & shared it with me. During the 60's she traveled up & down the West Coast because that was the thing to do. Seattle, to Astoria, Seaside, Cannon Beach, Northern Cali, SanFran, then all the way down to LA & back. She told me that she would bump into other hippies she would see in the other towns she had just come from. That must have been an amazing experiences, but then a grim look swept her face.
Claira said that "those were the days, but they got all screwed up because LSD was made illegal, and I was very reluctant to put a child up for adoption in 1968. He's forty one now, and I just hope he's doing alright."
That whole experience, that whole moment I had with Claira became surreal. As an advocate, hell as a foster kid, I experienced something that I like to call a 'full circle' experience. I sensed her pain in that statement. I saw the sorrow rest upon her face. I could see that she was hurt from her past always haunting her. In that moment, I felt compassion for her. She had pain from her past too- as a matter of fact just the opposite kind. Here we are, one generation apart and yet we are so close.
There was something Claira taught me today, she taught me how to forgive my bio parents, which is something I have been trying to do for years...
Everything happens as it should. I cannot really argue with that.
Oh by the way- I never really wanted a house with a white picket fence, its going to be more along the lines of this one...
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The Cannon
So I work in this really cool history center in a small town called Cannon Beach. This small place is where all the rich people spend their summer vacations in these expensive homes on the beach.
This job is kind of a joke, to be honest. I'm thankful that I have it & Im not abusing this position, but I don't have diddly squat to do most of the time. I was hired as a 'temp' and I am basically just a body to be here if visitors come, which is sweet for me.
Well there are a couple of Cannons that have been here on the coast for a couple hundred years. Two of them were found on the beach in Feb of 08 after a huge storm & the other one is in a little enclosure here in the museum. Well I had to go in there today & change some light bulbs today.
It was pretty awesome to be lying on this 200 year old Cannon, but I might have been a little too excited in this pic. Or maybe its just a terrible angle.
This job is kind of a joke, to be honest. I'm thankful that I have it & Im not abusing this position, but I don't have diddly squat to do most of the time. I was hired as a 'temp' and I am basically just a body to be here if visitors come, which is sweet for me.
Well there are a couple of Cannons that have been here on the coast for a couple hundred years. Two of them were found on the beach in Feb of 08 after a huge storm & the other one is in a little enclosure here in the museum. Well I had to go in there today & change some light bulbs today.
It was pretty awesome to be lying on this 200 year old Cannon, but I might have been a little too excited in this pic. Or maybe its just a terrible angle.
Catching you up...
So for the last year I've lived in Seaside Oregon. Population during the winter time is somewhere around five thousand. During the 4th of July, there's about a Million people on the beach, this is def a tourist town. I know, it sounds bad & it is. I don't have many friends out here on the Coast, but I cherish the few I do have.
This last year has been amazing for my development, I did some soul searching & found balance within myself. I am free from my past horrors from my early childhood. I feel like the my frontal lobe did a lot of growth this year too. (In males their frontal lobe is the last part of their brain to develop, this is their 'rationality')
All in all I feel like I have lived three lifetimes between now & then. I became comfortable with myself last winter. I broke out of my new shell in Spring. I had the best Summer of my life. Fall was filled with Lamenting. And now the new year has brought school my way. Alright world. Keep it coming & I'll keep conquering it.
~Hitchel
This last year has been amazing for my development, I did some soul searching & found balance within myself. I am free from my past horrors from my early childhood. I feel like the my frontal lobe did a lot of growth this year too. (In males their frontal lobe is the last part of their brain to develop, this is their 'rationality')
All in all I feel like I have lived three lifetimes between now & then. I became comfortable with myself last winter. I broke out of my new shell in Spring. I had the best Summer of my life. Fall was filled with Lamenting. And now the new year has brought school my way. Alright world. Keep it coming & I'll keep conquering it.
~Hitchel
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